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Hero in our midst: meet the man who rescued four Instant Pots, a Segway Mini, a BioBidet, a Bluetooth enabled lawnmower, a remote control red Ferrari, and a 65-piece dishwasher safe flatware set from the Amazon warehouses

Not all heroes wear capes – this one wears three Fitbit Versas he got for 40% off on Prime Day. When Barry Cramer, 42, of Fremont, California, heard about the terrible conditions plaguing Amazon warehouses, he knew it was time to step up to the plate and rescue a 16-foot USB 2.0 extender cable, two pairs of Sony XB950B1 Extra Bass Wireless Headphones, and a giant 10-pound Toblerone bar.

“You see stories about these warehouses, where workers can’t take breaks and get treated like criminals – that’s no place for an iRobot Roomba 652 Robotic Vacuum Cleaner, nor an Oral-B Pro 7000 SmartSeries Electric Toothbrush,” said Cramer. “I had space in my heart, which averages 117 beats per minute according to these three Fitbit Versas, and I had space in my home, which is now protected on all perimeters by 14 different Ring devices.”

Cramer added that it was difficult for him to think of all the unnecessary crap he left behind in the Amazon warehouses, but that he’d work tirelessly to rescue an Avengers Special Edition Air Fryer and the Lyndon “Tea” Johnson President Tea Infuser as soon as they go on sale again.

“It keeps me up at night just knowing that I can do more,” lamented Cramer. “Although when the Roomba runs over the Star Wars Millennium Falcon Lego kit that also keeps me up at night.”