1. The guy who insists on being called “Phineas Hugo Cumberbun”
Back to your cave, Steve!
2. The guy who dresses up as a centaur on the weekends and “forgets” to change back to normal clothing every week
We don’t have a dog in the office, Stan, so who peed on the floor?
3. The guy who insists you refer to his workspace as “The Command Center”
If you leave The Command Center, Jim, then who will run it? We’re all counting on you to stay!
4. The man who bends spoons with his mind instead of answering basic questions about deadlines
When will the app be done, Timothy? No – don’t do the spoon thing! Back to the cave!
5. “Mutton Chop Larry”
Your salary is more than enough to hire a barber for the rest of your face. Be gone!
6. The guy who ate a whole bottle of Flintstones vitamins and now his skin is changing colors
You’re scaring the children – and the clients. Back to your cave!
7. The completely competent and approachable engineer whose manager feels threatened by him
Never outshine the master! Back to your cave!
8. The woman with a legitimate opinion and the ability to affect meaningful, positive change
Didn’t you just graduate like 5 years ago? Return to your workstation!