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Shazam now deriding users for not knowing iconic songs

If you’re a Shazam user, you may have noticed that the app will now call you a “slack-jawed buffoon” for not knowing pop classics like “My Sharona” by The Knack.

We sent our clueless millennial intern Chuck Glenwood to try out the controversial new feature. Here are the four insults that most efficiently broke his fragile little spirit and might encourage him to learn a few songs beyond crap like Post Malone’s “Rockstar.”