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Fraud Gary Vee can’t even afford AirPods

Gary Vaynerchuk. You know him from LinkedIn and you hate him for everything the stupid people you work with repost. But how successful is he really?

TechLoaf recently completed a 3-page Google Image Search and what we found contradicts Mr. Vaynerchuk’s self-described narrative as a “self-made” “millionaire.”

That’s right. The King of Hustle, The Sultan of Sweat and Tears, The Prince of Productivity, The Harem-Keeper of Hustle himself has never once been seen wearing AirPods even though it’s 2019 and he says he has a million dollars. Even worse, he’s only been seen wearing those normal Apple headphones that just come with the phone for free.

The images that follow may be shocking to some. We’ll let you be the judge.

Notice anything strange? We did too. Look closely — there is a cord. Connected to the part of the headphone where there should be air. Air that is connected directly to ‘Pod.

Here he is again. Scratching his chin? No. Look closer.

He’s holding up a microphone attached to those headphones that just come with iPhones. You know, the freebies that any jerk can get. And is that a Toyota in the background? Isn’t this guy supposed to be rich?

Is that coat even Patagonia?

Here he is again. At first glance, just a man leaning against a tree in a concrete jungle. But look just above his left foot — see anything amiss? It’s a cord. Not a shoelace, or a ripcord for a parachute, but an actual, physical cord attached to those free headphones that come with the iPhone. Incredible.

This next photo should not be viewed by pregnant women, forklift operators, or those with weak constitutions… 

In this shot, we get our first view of not one, but two cords. Don’t let the black and white fool you, this image was taken not in 1957, but a mere 3 weeks ago. At this point, AirPods had been on the market for at least 18 months.

Could this be the cord bird’s nest upon which an empire was built? Or could it be a symbol of a man on the verge of unravelling? Does he own that suit? Or did he just find a loosie dry cleaning slip on the sidewalk and use it to pick up a stranger’s laundry? Now that’s hustle.

Like a shark, you must always swim forward, or else you’ll die. You may also die if you walk into a bus lane with your head down and corded headphones in your ears, like Gary Vee in this picture.

So, is he a Hustle King or a Wired Prince?

We’ll let you decide.